I know a student who does not believe in God. All my youth worker friends are just SHOCKED to hear that, I know it. Well, the reality is that the God he doesn't believe in... I don't either. The world has painted him a picture of God that he just can't get behind.
The only way I know how to explain the gift I have is one word: Grace.
I cannot tell you how badly I want to just give it away. I want to give it to anyone who doesn't believe that God is real. I want to give it to anyone who doesn't believe that God loves them. I am trying my best to give it away.
Because I don't understand why I have this gift and others don't.
At least they don't think they have it.
Open our eyes that we may see that your grace has already been given to every single one of us.
God pour out your spirit that we might be created, come and renew the face of the earth.
Grace and Peace,
Jacob Fields
I know another student who believes that there is a God but whoever that God is has nothing to do with whatever is happening on earth. To him it's more than just free will, God is distant, God doesn't care.
A lot of things in my life were going wrong when I was their age.
So why is it that I am able to believe?
It must have been a gift.
I have come to really understand one thing so far in my life and I consider myself lucky to have figured it out already. What I have come to understand is that I am confused and that is a good thing.
I am confused about how God works. I am confused as to why some prayers get answered. I am confused as to why if prayers get answered why people still die. I am confused about why when I know the right thing to do I so often tend to do the wrong thing. I am confused.
In a world where Google exists and simple answers to complex things are only a few clicks away it is looked down upon to not know something. We value knowledge and education so much in society that students often pass up church activities for school work and youth workers generally support that as an excuse. How smart we are is measured by tests where there are definitive answers. Yet time and time again I find through the example of my life that things in the real world are not so simple.
There is no simple formula for how to be happy. There is no simple formula to love someone. There is no simple understanding of God.
My life has presented me with enough tragedy to give up. I know just enough about God to have a whole lot of questions. It seems that each time I open scripture it just complicates things even more.
Yet even in the midst of it all, I can't, not believe. I can not say that God doesn't care. I can't say that God is distant even when I can't feel the Holy Spirit.
What an amazing gift it is to believe. What an amazing thing it is to be able to trust in a power greater than myself that cares to know my name. That this God would look on me with love. That he would answer my prayers. I know it sounds crazy to some out there but I do believe that God directly answers some of my prayers. I can tell you some stories and you would have trouble believing me. I know that because sometimes I want to shake my head and go "that not possible, there has to be a reasonable explanation for that."
I find this refrain from "Tis So Sweet to trust in Jesus" to be true for me.
"Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him,
How I've proved Him o'er and o'er,
Jesus, Jesus, Precious Jesus!
O for grace to trust Him more."
The only way I know how to explain the gift I have is one word: Grace.
I cannot tell you how badly I want to just give it away. I want to give it to anyone who doesn't believe that God is real. I want to give it to anyone who doesn't believe that God loves them. I am trying my best to give it away.
Because I don't understand why I have this gift and others don't.
At least they don't think they have it.
Open our eyes that we may see that your grace has already been given to every single one of us.
God pour out your spirit that we might be created, come and renew the face of the earth.
Grace and Peace,
Jacob Fields
No comments:
Post a Comment