***This is an article that is
written for Parents/Families of youth to increase the value of your church’s
youth ministry to your family. Youth Workers – if you find any truth in what I
write here please share with your group.***
As a youth minister it is kind of
important for me to constantly be learning about how I can improve things, and
I do so on a regular basis. There are often areas of ministry
where I feel like (or get told) I need to improve.
One particular area that I have been
seeking to improve is Communication.
If you are looking for advice on
Youth Ministry Communication you certainly find a lot of ways to communicate
with parents, including some articles written on why you should communicate
with youth and their parents in the first place.
However I have noticed that all
these articles and ways of improvement are lacking.
Because ALL of them perpetuate a
communication model that looks like this picture.
But really we all know on some level
that communication is a two way street. For me to get better at communication I have to acknowledge and teach the other side of the coin. So if you are not having a Conversation with your youth
director you are wasting your youth ministry.
Some of you may be having a
conversation already and that is awesome. You should keep reading.
When
is the conversation happening?
A Youth Worker is starting a
conversation every time they send an e-mail, a text, a tweet, or a Facebook
post. Each and every time a communication method is used it is an invitation to
participation in a conversation. It doesn’t matter if you weren’t @tagged on
the post.
It doesn’t matter if the email or
text went to more than one person, that information was prepared and sent to
you as a parent because they want to tell that to you.
Youth Workers do not make
newsletters for the sake of sending something out, it is for the sake of
telling people about something they should know about, take action on, or
respond to.
These forms of communication are not
effective if they are simply a broadcast. The only way to have a conversation
is to respond to what was said. Your response can be as simple as signing up
for an event, or as complicated as writing a 6,000 word email.
You as a parent are also welcomed
and encouraged to begin the dialogue. We are on the same team; we want what is
best for your child and your family. If you have a concern about your child we
as youth workers are a resource to help you. Even if you are not “concerned”
about your child, it helps us to know what is going on in the student’s life.
What
is NOT helpful
- It does not help to tell the youth worker all the things you think they have done wrong.
- It does not help to tell the youth pastor your opinion on their outfit.
- It does not help to say why your child’s extracurricular activities win over going to church when there is a conflict.
- We care about your child, extracurricular activities are cool. When we can we will go to an event and support your child. However we will almost always disagree on which should be the priority when a schedule conflict arises.
Most of all, it is not helpful if we
never hear from you at all. Say something, start a conversation, or continue
one.
What
IS helpful
- It is helpful for us to know what events your child plans to (or not to) participate in.
- It is helpful for us to know if your child gets sick or injured.
- It is helpful for us to know if things we are teaching are or are not showing up in your student’s life outside church.
- It is helpful for us to understand your expectations of a youth pastor in general so long as you understand that our expectations may be different yet we are still working toward the same goal:
Helping your child to be able to stand on a faith that they have made their own to the point that their faith has a positive impact on their daily life.
Conclusion
In the end for us to have a positive
impact in your child’s life or the life of your family it requires a
relationship. A relationship does not exist when communication only goes one
way. So please do not waste your church’s youth ministry, or your youth worker
for that matter. Engage in a conversation with your youth pastor.
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