Day 17 – High and Low of the Year
I have taken a Blog
Challenge to blog daily for 30 days mostly about
myself so that you and others can get to know me a bit better. Tell a friend
about www.jacobfields.org this month, or like and interact with me on my Facebook
ministry page at Facebook.com/Jacobwfields
My High point of the Year
was becoming a dad. I am so in love with my son that it isn’t even funny. I became a dad on January 3rd at
3:22 AM. There is nothing more peaceful than laying back in a recliner with
your son asleep on your chest. I have also gained a better understanding of how
God loves me. It changed my whole perspective on communication and why parents
are the way they are. I love that it forced me to figure some things out that I
mention in my low point.
My Low point of the year (in the last 12 months) was not being prepared for the emotions and deep seeded issues that
becoming a dad would bring to the surface for me. When George would cry I would
get angry, and I didn’t understand why. I did understand that it had to do with
more than just being tired, that’s just got to be the new reality for a while. I
took his cry as me being a failure as a dad, which sounds ridiculous but it is
what was happening. When he would cry I would feel like I was not meeting his
needs. And I would try my best and sometimes I just couldn’t get him to stop
crying and that would make me frustrated. I would need to take a moment to
collect myself but I would feel guilty and not take that moment for fear of
being an absent father like my biological father Mark Wesley Thompson was. The crying would continue and so would my
frustration. No one told me that my relationship or lack thereof with my father
would show up in my relationship with my son. Since becoming aware of that
things have gotten significantly better. I do have to keep reminding myself
though that I am not the perfect dad nor will I be. I have to accept that he
has needs that I cannot meet. I have to accept and be grateful for all the help
I can get in raising my son from his mom, from his family, from the church, and
most of all from God.
As Always thanks for your
time and giving this a read. If you enjoyed it share it with friends, you can
do so easily with one of the buttons below. I pray that you will embrace life
in the Love and Grace offered to you through Jesus Christ, and that you will
always remember Jeremiah 29:11. – For I know the plans I have for you
declares the Lord, Plans to Proper You and not for harm, Plans with Hope for
the Future.
