Showing posts with label Friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Friends. Show all posts

Monday, August 26, 2013

I am a Youth Minister: Not another Parent – Not just another friend

For some reason there is this assumption by certain people that a youth minister should be a parent figure in a student’s life. Still among others there is an assumption that if I succeed at connecting with students that means I become their friend.

I would like to take a quick minute to set to rest those assumptions and offer instead that as a youth worker I have the unique joy that goes along with its own unique relationship.

I am not another parent for students
Parents are wonderful they are by far the biggest influence in a student’s life even if the student or the parent does not realize it. I am a parent of my own child and it has a great deal of responsibilities and challenges to help my child grow. I do my best to provide for him and to keep him safe from harm. My wife and I control his schedule and contribute daily to his understanding of the way the world works. It is our responsibility to set our expectations of behavior and respect for our son and that starts even before he can walk.

As a youth director I get to have the blessing of being an adult example for a student. I get to share with them some of my wisdom of how the world works and I absolutely want to protect students from harm in every way that I can. However by not being in charge of a student’s daily discipline and schedule management that opens doors of relationship that are not possible for parents. My time with students each week is limited. In fact unless there is a special event, students spend significantly more time with a teacher at school than a youth director. I cannot directly control how students allocate their time in a week, no matter how much I would like that to happen. I can only indirectly teach about priorities and living a balanced life. I cannot nor would I want to have a say in a student having a smart phone or what apps are or are not allowed throughout the week. I cannot make a student put their phone down and go to bed when I see them tweeting at 2AM.

I am not just a friend for students
Friends are great; they walk through life with us. Friends are a whole lot of fun. Friends back us up when we are trying to make points. Friends hang out at school dances. Friends hang out together. Friends discuss things that are appropriate, and things that are not. Friends look out for each other’s needs and wants. There are a lot of similarities between youth directors and Friends, but there are a few differences.

As a youth director I will not be sharing a limo with any of you on your way to prom. I will almost always stick out like a sore thumb if I find myself in the student section at a football game. As a youth director you can share your life with me and I can keep a lot of things in confidence. However, students cannot tell me of a situation where they are about to break the law, and expect me not to tell anyone. I cannot keep confidence if you are about to harm yourself or someone else, I am obligated to call 911. There are certain subjects that I can’t participate in discussion with a student. There are times when I know what is going on in your life and times when I do not. There are times when I have to make a decision for the sake of another student or the group as a whole instead of backing you up or taking your side.

The biggest complements I can get come in wonderful ways. The first is when a parent of a student approaches me randomly and says something along the lines of “I just want to let you know how much we appreciate you, since Michael started going to youth we have noticed a huge difference in his life” and the second (not by order of importance) is seeing students become amazing Christian adults where their faith is a noticeable part of the way they live their lives.

Though I am neither another parent nor another friend, I am so glad because I get to be a unique blend of the two that comes with being a Youth Minister.

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Getting To Know Me - Day 7 Favorite Childhood Toys

Day 7 Favorite Childhood Toys

I have taken a Blog Challenge to blog daily for 30 days mostly about myself so that you and others can get to know me a bit better. Tell a friend about this month, or like and interact with me on my Facebook ministry page at 

I am only going to list 2 things because they are by far the dominant toys from my childhood.

1.  Sega Genesis - There was no such thing as not enough sleep when this thing was involved. I remember many nearly sleepless nights of playing Road Rash and Sonic Spinball. I remember asking for a Sega for 3 straight Christmases before getting one. Best of all I remember playing with my best friend Matt, we played all the time together. We played Bubsy, Echo the Dolphin, Battle Toads, Sonic 1,2,3 and Sonic N Knuckles, all this before discovering NFL quarterback club 93 and FIFA Scoccer 94. B and C Matt, B and C (this is a bit of an inside joke, if you want to be inside of it find a way to play it on the original console and then turn injuries and penalties off).

2. My Bike - Me and my bike went everywhere. I know it sounds like I spent a lot of time glued to the TV playing video games and I did, at night. During the day my friends at the apartment complex were often told to go outside and that we couldn't come back inside till dinner. Which of course sometimes meant going to another friends apartment and playing games till dinner. Nonetheless we still spent a lot of time riding bikes. We lived at the top of a great hill that lead to the greatest Elementary School Ever!!!! CHARLOTTE ANDERSON (Go Vikings). So not only did we ride our bikes to school and home from school but we rode them to each others houses. We rode them with no hands. We raced around the apartments. We tried to pop wheelies. We had contests to see who could make the biggest skid mark on the road. We had contests to see who could coast the furthest after going down the hill without pedaling. We built ramps. We crashed off ramps. We went on adventures. Best of all, we made some great memories.

As Always thanks for your time and giving this a read. If you enjoyed it share it with friends, you can do so easily with one of the buttons below. I pray that you will embrace life in the Love and Grace offered to you through Jesus Christ, and that you will always remember Jeremiah 29:11.  – For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, Plans to Proper You and not for harm, Plans with Hope for the Future.